Hello there! It’s so lovely to see you - in a manner of speaking. (But that sweater really suits you, is it new?) Welcome to the Monday edition of the Creative Confidence Clinic! My podcast, You’re Booked, goes out on a Monday. It’s a chance to join me for a snoop around the bookshelves of your favourite authors. This week, King of Crime and DS Roy Grace writer Peter James talks about his life of literary policing. Also, he might hold the record for the most pets owned by any podcast guest…
My creative fiction course, Write Like A Reader is back! Some places are still available, and I’d absolutely work with you. Over five sessions, I’ll be sharing technical and practical tools for writing fiction, as well as providing cheerleading, morale boosting and emotional support.
It’s intimate, kind and cosy - the friendliest fiction course going! For the syllabus, dates, pricing and other details, do drop me an email - creativeconfidenceclinic@gmail.com. (There’s a discount for paying subscribers - which means that when the half price offer is on, you save money if you take out an annual subscription, and then get the lower course rate. My maths isn’t always reliable, but I’m pretty sure that’s how to get the best value!)
A subscription also gets you access to bonus content and Sunday sessions. If you missed yesterday’s masterclass with super editor Ana Fletcher, you’ll be able to watch it on playback. As always - if you can’t run to the full subscription at the moment, I’d be so happy to gift it to you! Email me - creativeconfidenceclinic@gmail.com - and I’ll hook you up. And now, let’s get a little woo…
On Friday, at Henley Literary Festival, I taught a creative writing workshop with my friend, the poet, communications expert and brand new Substacker,
. And I decided to try something new.For the first few years of my writing life, I felt too proud, and too stubborn, to yield to the soft side of artistry. I was convinced that getting work done required a little talent, and a lot of discipline and force. I had so much to prove - although I’m not sure who I was trying to prove it to. I didn’t think I’d earned the right to believe in myself. And I was sure that having fun was cheating. I was furious, unhappy and exhausted. ‘And what if it all goes right?’ said the meme. ‘And what if I punch you in the mouth?’ I replied, through gritted teeth.
This line of thinking led me to an inevitable reckoning, and to a therapist who gently suggested that as being very angry with myself all the time didn’t seem to be working, hope, optimism and encouragement might be worth a try. I listened to this podcast about 15 times. Having been a raging self-help, self-love, MBS atheist I surrendered and recognised Elizabeth Gilbert as my goddess. Slowly - and it’s a work in progress - I recognised my human right to make work - art! - that is wild, messy, vivid and glorious.
This is why I took a leap, and started the workshop with a meditative visualisation exercise. It was a risk. I hoped that some students would already recognise the importance of dreaming in detail. And I suspected that some of the students were just like me. Scared, sceptical and stuck.
The response was so moving. I was stunned and overjoyed to speak to the students afterwards, and discover just how many of them felt as though the visualisation had quenched a raging thirst. They had been craving the permission to dream, and to hope.
I want to share that exercise with you. There is a transcript below, and you can listen to the recording (the link is at the very top of the newsletter). If you’d do me the honour of listening for five minutes, I’d be so grateful. Here is my invitation, to you, to dream in detail. And I’d be thrilled to hear about what comes up for you. If you have the courage to share in the comments, I’d love for you to paint some vivid pictures of your future work, and your wildest dreams.
I’m going to ask you to try something with me. It’s an exercise in unlocking your creative imagination. Firstly - the very first time I tried something like this, I felt hugely resistant to it. It’s a little woo. So I’m going to ask you to trust me - and also, to trust yourselves. If you’ve never done anything v like this before, it might feel a little uncomfortable. But see how you get on - I really hope it also feels exciting and inspiring.
I’d love to invite you to close your eyes, and imagine yourself sitting at your desk. You’re writing the words ‘the end’. I want you to think about the chair you’re sitting on. Is it pink velvet, or brown leather? A vintage Eames chair? A sofa? Is the desk familiar to you, or are you imagining a desk you’d love to own. What can you smell? Is it a favourite candle, or the books that surround you? Are you writing with a pen? Are you using a laptop or a typewriter?
Now, I want you to imagine how it feels to get to the end. This is a piece of writing that you’ve worked incredibly hard on. You’re feeling very, very proud. This is a great achievement. You’ve challenged yourself, and you’ve been learning and growing. You’ve had hard writing days and great writing days. You’ve got up early, made time at evenings and weekends. You’ve been able to give yourself a huge amount of encouragement and emotional support. You have run a creative marathon. You’ve trained so hard, and you’ve reached the finish line.
Time passes, and it’s time to share your work with the world. Where does your brain take you? I want you to imagine what feels good, what feels joyous. Maybe you’ve just spoken to an agent who loves your work, and wants to represent you. What do they love about the piece you’ve just finished? What are their plans for you? How have they praised you? What do they see you doing next? Perhaps your book is in the window of your favourite bookshop. What is the cover like? Which books are beside it? Do you know what the book is called? How does it feel to see something you worked so hard on being celebrated? Do you call a friend, or stop and take a photo? Maybe you’ve worked on a script. Can you see the actors who are playing the lead roles? Can you picture a trailer, or a poster?
Now, you’re at your desk again. You’re so excited to get back to work. You know that you have so many ideas that you want to explore. Can you imagine your notebooks, your research, and any items and objects that you’ve picked up in order to inspire you? I want you to think about the view from your desk, and what you’d love to look at, while you work. You’re a writer. You’re really proud of the work you make. You know that being at your desk, dreaming up new worlds and writing them down, is your favourite place to be. You have so many stories in you, and you have all of the time and the space you need to share them.
Thank you so much for joining me. You can open your eyes whenever you’re ready. I wanted to ask you to join me in that exercise, because I think it can be so difficult to fantasise and daydream. Everyone here is a creative person. Making your work requires faith in yourself - and hope! We’re constantly trying to protect ourselves from pain, and the people who love us are trying to protect us too. We worry about the pain of rejection, the pain of not being perfect, the pain of failing and not getting it right. We try to plan for everything going wrong. It’s really important to dream about how good it will feel when it goes right. This is the petrol that keeps your creative motor running. Thank you so much for joining me. I know that will have been a real challenge. The first time I did anything similar, I felt so angry and so uncomfortable. But as soon as I let myself start to hope, I was able to start getting really excited about writing.
I really hope you have found the exercise helpful, useful and comforting. I’m so grateful for the time you spend with me, and to play a part in your creative life. If you’re able to support this newsletter and subscribe, it really helps me to continue to make this work. And I’d love to spread the word about the Creative Confidence Clinic - who knows, our new favourite writer might be a future reader! Please send this to anyone who needs a creative boost.
Have a wonderful week - and I’d love to hear about what you’re reading and writing, and what is filling you with joy.
Love
Daisy x
A creative meditation